


HYDRA's Dolly

by Fighting_for_Creativity



Series: The lives of the Avengers featuring Sad Barbiegirl cover [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (some), Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Gen, Inspired by Sad Barbie Girl Cover, Other, Soft Boys, Songfic, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, graveyard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27804463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fighting_for_Creativity/pseuds/Fighting_for_Creativity
Summary: Bucky remembers some of his victim's names. He knows he remembers this woman. Not knowing how else to deal with his grief, he visits her grave. Remembering more of his life as Hydra's doll, he is confused to find he's got company and, ultimately, an unlikely friend.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark
Series: The lives of the Avengers featuring Sad Barbiegirl cover [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034349
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11
Collections: Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020





	HYDRA's Dolly

**Author's Note:**

> I finally got around to write and get it betaed. I started this series in my WIP folder in May...
> 
> This belongs to a series in which I will tailor the lyrics to the Marvel character's life.  
> So far planned (WIP's) for 10 more variations. Each can be read as a standalone, some might connect.
> 
> Please, if you want to give it a chance, this is the cover song I refer to throughout the series. 
> 
> Song:[Barbie Girl By Melodicka Bros ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Bt7j8sXTkY)   
> Lyrics I took from the song are in italics without the '...' thinking marker.  
> 
> 
> Bingo info in the end notes~

The wind blew, playing with fallen leaves, making them rustle while they danced around each other. The trees stood mostly void of their usual dress, a single, particular stubborn leaf still clinging to one branch.

Nature was preparing to rest, autumn on the cusp of winter, but not quite willing to make room for it fully. Here and there were some bullheaded plants, braving the chilly temperatures. The sun had only risen halfway, shying away from getting too high – not reaching her zenith and shining in every corner – as if she knew she wasn’t welcome in this specific place.

Left and right, in front and behind, stood rows upon rows of tombstones and memorials. Of statues made of wood or stone. Angels, crosses, or simple plaques as far as the eye could see. Every single one was different and yet ultimately the same, as were the human remains those relics symbolized.

Beside the wind, only a few crows occupied the graveyard. They cawed at each other, black, bleary eyes following the dancing leaves in the hope of finding some insects to devour. All in all, an onlooker would say it was a peaceful sight.

Bucky Barnes wasn’t an onlooker, though. He didn’t observe from the outside, trying to gain intel for once. No, in this instance he was a participant in the play. A mere doll for fate to play with. Just like he had been for the past 70 years.

The brunet had been tracking his former victims, at least those he still could remember the names and faces of. He hadn’t lied when he said that he remembered them all; Bucky had simply omitted that he did not always remember both face and name. In fact, more often than not, could he barely recall anything but the face.

Therefore, it was even more important for him to be here. Here in front of a tombstone, reading the name of a young woman he had killed some twenty-odd years ago. She had been blonde and blue eyed, a fierce woman who hadn’t taken misogynic bullshit from anyone. What had got her into HYDRA’s crosshairs, and ultimately led to her death, had been her skillful way of navigating the political scene. When she had refused to become part of HYDRA, she had been eliminated.

Back then a song had played from her bathroom radio, the lines still stuck in Bucky’s head.

_I'm a blonde bimbo girl -_

Bitterness contorting his lips, steel-grey eyes hardening as the old cheery song mixed with the cover version he had found. A version so much sadder, so much more like him that he had needed to pause the song several times so as not to fall into a panic. Standing in front of the grave of one of his victims, Bucky Barnes remembered the song, and his life so fittingly molded to be like that: A Doll.

He remembered how HYDRA took his arm, gave him a new-

  
  


_Life in plastic is fantastic_

_You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere_

_Imagination, life is your creation_

How he had been dressed and redressed for mission after mission. How Bucky Barnes vanished and became their creation, the Winter Soldier.

  
  


The brunet shuddered, breath coming short and yet not leaving him breathless enough to not start humming. The lyrics fill his mind, the memories flooding him.

  
  


_You can touch, you can play_

_If you say, I'm always yours, oohoh_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

_Come on Barbie, let's go party!_

  
  


At one point he had tried to get away. Always trying to break the conditioning, because it had always felt wrong. It had felt artificial, nothing like what he knew deep down to be himself. All their hands, technicians and handlers alike, keeping him pressed into the chair, or hurting him in one way or another. He had just wanted to escape, to be free to not be their dolly.

  
Yet they caught him. Punished him harder than ever before, whipped him more times than he could comprehend. Bucky wasn’t sure, but he might have tried to escape only that once and never again because of what had followed.

  
  


_Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please_

  
  


He had been theirs, thoroughly, wholly. 

Bucky was so deep in memories and flashbacks alike that he startled at the soft lyrics being sung by someone to his right.

Head snapping into that direction, Bucky’s eyes widen in shock and confusion, the humming momentarily forgotten.

  
  


“ _I'_ _m a blonde bimbo girl_

_Life in plastic, it's fantastic_

_You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere_

_Imagination, life is your creation._ ”

Tony Stark’s voice was soft, tender even, while he continued the song, lyrics fading into humming now that Bucky had stopped.

The former assassin didn’t know what to do, and so he blurted out the first question that came to mind. “What are you doing here?”

It came out harsher than he wanted. Ever since Bucky had become a part of the Avengers, he and Tony hadn’t been on the best terms. Mostly because in the beginning both avoided each other.

Later on, Bucky had not known, still didn’t know, how to talk to the son of two of his victims.

So he had kept his distance while everyone else had seemed to grow closer and closer, forming a real family for once. And Bucky yearned to be a part of it, fully knowing that he would never have the right to be. Still, his stupid heart didn’t get the memo and so Bucky couldn’t stop himself from always feeling a tiny twinge of jealousy.

Somehow, though, the mechanic didn’t take offense. Tony simply smiled a sad little uplift of the corner of his mouth, really, before nodding in the direction of two rows back. Both men knew that Bucky would be able to read whatever was carved in whatever tombstone Tony nodded at.

The taller man needed a moment, eyes scanning each tomb before he felt like he was punched in the stomach. 

‘Howard and Maria Stark’

When the air finally filled his lungs again, Bucky turned towards the smaller man, who still had that tiny smile etched on his face, eyes so impossibly brown and sad and yet- and yet _wistful_ and Bucky couldn’t do anything. 

Except he knew he needed to do something, and only one thing came to mind: apologizing. “Tony… I’m so so-”

But Tony, infuriating, cheeky Tony, held up a hand, eyes locked with Bucky’s, saying so much more with the burning look than any words could. Then the smaller man’s smile got wider, his eyes unbearably soft, and he murmured, “ _I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees."_

With that line alone, he told Bucky so much, so damn much. Bucky knew in that very moment that despite them not having gone through the same things, Tony did understand his suffering. Tony had been there, differently but there nonetheless. And because Tony had been there, he forgave Bucky. Unbelievable as that seemed to the taller man, Tony Stark had forgiven him. Neither Bucky nor Tony were alone in this.

  
  


_Come jump in, bimbo friend, let us do it again_

_Hit the town, fool around, let's go party_

They at the very least had another who had been used as a doll, had been created by someone else, and who’s life had been not their own. 

_‘I know this should make me feel sad… Somehow, though_ ,’ Bucky thought as he looked skywards where the sun finally got higher, lighting more of the surrounding space, freezing wind still swiping around them, _‘this makes me feel lighter than I have in a long while_.’

They stayed there, shoulders brushing from time to time, humming together the song that described their pasts in different ways, and ignoring the cawing crows in the background.

**Author's Note:**

> Title: HYDRA's Dolly  
> Collaborators: J_Gun_i (discord)  
> Squares Filled: U3 Graveyard  
> Ship: Friendship Tony&Bucky  
> Rating: Teen  
> Major Tags: Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Tony Stark needs a hug, Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Soft bois, Songfic  
> Summary: Bucky remembers some of his victim's names. He knows he remembers this woman. Not knowing how else to deal with his grief, he visits her grave. Remembering more of his life as Hydra's doll, he is surprised to find company and ultimately an unlikely friend.  
> Word Count: 1312


End file.
